爱得好无奈，爱的好无助

ant***

想着想着，心就痛了，一个想见却无法见的人，一个让我近乎痴迷却永远无法触摸的笑容，一份铭刻心底早已失去温度的温柔……

　　梦着梦着，泪就流了，那场华美的虚无让自己近乎崩溃，再怎么歇斯底里也抓不住逝去的时光，唤不回曾经的温柔和依赖……

　　遇见你的那一刻是我心里最灿烂的悸动，脸上竟然露出了久违的笑容，天地万物都成了虚无，我竟然不敢相信自己还能有那份热切和渴望。

　　爱上你是我心中最美的期待，庆幸我等到了，从荒芜到芳菲，从平静到热烈，从冷漠到释放，这是我从未想到过的改变。

　　有你陪伴的日子是我生命中最美的天堂，有你仿佛就拥有了整个世界。可以不吃、不睡，想着你的一切就里就满满的，你就是我心中的幸福满屋。

　　你离开的日子是我狱炼的开始，一切回到原点。只是多了些难舍的心痛，眼泪随时随地都可能光顾，爱上了那些忧伤的旋律，还有那伤感的文字，和你无处不在的我无法触摸的身影。

　　我们说好分手以后还做朋友，还会彼此祝福，彼此关心。你要我忘掉你所有的好重新振作，放手去寻找真正属于我的幸福。你要我从此脸上不再挂着流泪，只看得到笑容。我也答应你没有你的日子会好好保重，会努力让自己坚强，只是幸福快乐再也不敢奢望。

　　没有你的日子，心被掏空。我真的很努力让自己快乐，让自己去忘记，忘记你给的一切。可是力不从心的我即使做再多的努力都是徒劳，不是借酒浇愁，就是以泪洗面。只是时间终于让我学会了不去打扰你，醉生梦死，痛不欲生，泪流成河都成了我自己的秘密。

　　你离开了，我的天成了永远的灰色，即使是艳阳高照，我的心也能感到阵阵的冰冷。没有你的日子，我的心也随你飘浮，而我只是一个空心人在尘世中艰难地跋涉，面对每天千篇一律的生活我竟然束手无策。其实真的不想对你恋恋不舍，可不知多少个夜里，你的身影总在我眼前浮现，过去总在脑海一幕幕重演，辗转反侧后你把我带入梦乡，梦里总有你的影子相随。

　　你离开后，我真的哭了，哭得好伤心，好绝望。你选择了你早就习惯的生活，永远地走出了我的世界，世上的伤心人又多了我一个。我真的爱了，爱得好无奈，好无助。你再不舍再心痛终究也是放开了我的手，而我能给的我全给了，能努力的我真的尽力了。再也感觉不到温暖，也不再奢望幸福的降临，剩下的只是心如刀割。

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青***

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